I wish this was about waiting for potato chips to fall inside my mouth…..but it’s not. Though if the sky decided to rain chips, I’d ask Mother Nature to make it Sour Cream & Onion. I had two really good weeks for Week 9 & 10. So this week, I wanted to address the elephant in my brain. Each week, even though I continue to work hard, I eat the same way and follow the TIO plan every week….I can’t quite shake the feeling that one week I’m going to get on the scale and be utterly disgusted. So every Friday on weigh-in day, I am filled with dread that this will be the week. This will be the time I let myself down, let everyone else down.
Well, it hasn’t happened yet. I had another decent week. Jen completely changed up my workouts which I think is super important. The last thing I want is for my body to start getting comfortable. With Jen’s motivation, I continue to push myself as hard as I can and I can honestly feel myself getting stronger. I’m continuing to make healthy decisions and I really do feel like I have a good handle on the eating aspect. I feel like I can see myself continuing to eat this way for a long time with some modifications when it’s all said and done and that’s huge. Because at this point, it doesn’t feel like a “diet,” it feels like it’s just how I eat.
Lastly, there’s one more thing that’s been on my mind and I’ve spoken with Jen and Linda about it and I sense that maybe I’m not alone on this one. I’ve had a handful of people make comments to me that they can see a difference and saying that I look good. I appreciate those comments more than you could imagine but I just don’t see it. Yeah, I can tell a difference with certain clothes and I randomly I will feel like I have a “skinny moment” but for the majority of the time, I still look in the mirror and see the fat. I see the areas that still desperately need work and those are my focus when I put on clothes. Believe me, I am happy that I am making progress, but part of me believes I’ll always just focus on those imperfections in the mirror. I think women have a tendency to do that. I always try to stay as positive as I can in these posts but you also deserve to hear the darker thoughts running through my mind. Journeys are punctuated by moments of triumph and happiness but there are also lower moments and I don’t want anyone to think that I’m immune to those either. Week 11 is in the books. After next week, I will have completed 3 months! That’s crazy but I can’t wait to keep you posted!!